Reason I Would Be A Terrible Woman #1: Tact

“Excuse me, my ladymouth is gushing. I’ll be right back to take your order after I clog it.” – PZ as a waitreYuss @ Applebee’s

“Your boyfriend’s got a disgusting Chester ‘stache. You must have daddy issues. Oh wait…I do too.”

“Come in here and look at these logs I just made. Lincoln would shit a house.”

“You what? You love me? Fag.”