I Swear to God…if you have tribal tattoos…

I swear to god if you still sport your trybullz like this fruitcake up here, I will find out where your mother lives.  I will travel to her.  I will walk up the pathway to her front door.  I will knock on that door.  And when she answers I will repeatedly punch your mother in her face and ask her, “Why?  Why would you do this to me?”

PS:  She gets an extra cheap kick to the womb if it’s a dragon…

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I Swear to God…If You’re Still Wearing Puka Shells…

Two words: Kenny Chesney

Do YOU wanna be like the aforementioned?  If the answer is yes then you don’t belong on this blog, first of all.  Secondly, if you think they’re stylish, hot, cool, or even if you think they look cool with a wife-beater – consider yourself wrong…DEAD wrong.  That’s right.  Only dead people wear puka.  So unless you’re dead, knock it off.  Also, if you pair puka with a popped collar, e-mail me your mother’s address so I can drive to her house and beat the living shit out of her for letting you live.